Speed isn't just a metric. It's a weapon.
Your website is embarrassing. Let's unfuck that.
We build websites so fast, your competition will need quantum physics to catch up. No bloat, no excuses, just pure digital domination.
Your website isn't just embarrassing – it's actively hurting your business. Every millisecond of load time is another customer running to your competition. We don't just build websites; we architect digital experiences that turn casual visitors into rabid fans and competitors into cautionary tales. Using Next.js, React, and Edge Functions, we'll drag your web presence kicking and screaming into the modern era. No BS, no 'enterprise solutions,' just ruthlessly efficient code that gets shit done.
What we actually do
Speed Optimization
We'll make your website faster than your competitors can copy/paste our code. Sub-second load times aren't a goal – they're the bare minimum. Perfect Lighthouse scores? That's just Tuesday for us.
UX Unfuckery
Your current UX is probably designed by committee. We'll replace that nightmare with intuitive flows that even your most tech-illiterate customers can navigate. No more 'it's not you, it's the interface' excuses.
Mobile Dominance
If your site isn't mobile-first, you're already last. We'll build you a responsive experience that works flawlessly on everything from the latest iPhone to that Android tablet from 2013.
Performance Monitoring
We don't just build fast sites – we keep them fast. Real-time monitoring, instant alerts, and proactive optimization. Because letting your site slow down is like letting your gym membership expire.
SEO Warfare
We'll optimize your site so aggressively that Google will need therapy. Structured data, semantic HTML, and technical SEO that makes your competition's 'SEO guru' cry themselves to sleep.
Security Lockdown
Your WordPress site with default credentials isn't 'secure enough.' We'll implement enterprise-grade security that makes Fort Knox look like a piggy bank. No script kiddies allowed.