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Here's the deal:
[email protected]
(Yes, that's our real email. No, it's not managed by actual bots... yet.)

Oh, you were expecting another soulless contact form to dump your "urgent inquiry" into the void? Sorry to disappoint, Karen. We stopped pretending those were secure back when MySpace was cool.

Could we build you a Fort Knox-level secure contact form? Obviously.

Should we? Probably.

Will we? Lol, no.

Who Should Email Us:

  • Business owners who get it
  • Tech leads drowning in legacy code
  • Agencies stuck in development hell (we'll only mock you privately... mostly)
  • Corporate suits whose "digital transformation" turned into digital deformation
  • Anyone whose developers ghosted them with the AWS credentials

Who Should Not Email Us:

  • "Idea guys" looking for equity partnerships
  • People who think "URGENT!!!" in the subject line moves them to the top of the queue
  • Anyone starting with "To whom it may concern"
  • Budget hunters who think quality code grows on trees
  • Your aunt who needs her Facebook password reset

Location Policy:

Texas? We might grace you with our physical presence.

Rest of USA? Depends on how interesting your problem is.

International? The more zeros in the budget, the smaller the world becomes.

Privacy & Security (Because Lawyers Made Us Add This):

Yes, we take your privacy seriously. No, we won't sell your email to that sketchy marketing list you're already probably on. Your secrets are safe with us – we're too busy building actual secure stuff to care about your LinkedIn premium status or that "revolutionary" app idea you had in the shower.

Will we protect your data with military-grade encryption? Absolutely. Will we protect your feelings? No promises.

Pro Tips For Actually Getting A Response:

  1. Write like a human being
  2. Tell us your actual problem (not the PR version)
  3. Have a budget that doesn't make us laugh
  4. Don't ask us to sign your NDA before telling us literally anything
  5. Bonus points if you spot the hidden Star Wars reference in our website

Remember: Every time someone submits a contact form, a developer loses their mechanical keyboard privileges. Email us instead. We might even read it.

P.S. If you're still looking for a form to fill out, here's a link to one we made just for you